The Year of Accountability

     2020 is just about to be a thing. 2019 was one hell of a year with just as much good as bad to be honest. A lot of hard shit came my way this year as I expect it did for most, lets be real every year seems hard in it's own way. From personal health scares, love, love lost and death just no lubrication was issued this year. With the exception to this being my amazing new job.

     I took that major leap back into car sales and I FUCKING ROCKED IT! The first six months at Miller had some up and down paychecks. But working up in Sandy at our little mom and pop store was the best move I have made for myself. No regrets to be had about that move. I am making a living for myself for once. 

     But real talk about this upcoming year. This is not some new year new me bullshit. This is I got shit to do, obstacles to overcome and motherfucking goals. I am holding my ass accountable to accomplish them. 

     First and most important on this list, I am going to live. I far too often found myself waiting around to go do things with people and it never happened and I wasted my day or weekend just waiting... No more of that shit. There is amazing things to do and see in the area and this country and I am going to do what makes me happy even if it means I do it solo. 

But something tells me not all of my adventures will be alone. 

     I have all of these things I want to do like play guitar, write, finish my house and buy a better house. The fact of the matter is the only thing stopping me is ME. To want is not enough what I am looking to accomplish requires effort and I demand it of myself to put that effort in. Life is for the living and a day on the couch is nice but gets me no closer to any of my goals. I am holding myself accountable to accomplish shit this year. 

     My health... I owe it to myself and this tiny human to be around for as long as possible. This is a huge switch up from the days of considering getting a DNR order at 30. Has life gotten easier or that much better for me? Not so much but I got a lot of shit to do and I need to be healthier for it. I don't want to get winded putting on my shoes. I have some amazing people in life who want to help me with this and it is time to accept that help for once.  I'm gonna cut back on the junk food and rededicate myself to working out. Not just once a week like it has been. 

     I fully recognize this upcoming year is going to have its own challenges and it probably wont be easy. My depression is still a real thing but I have to better myself and get better at dealing with it. All of these things I want are truly obtainable if I work for them. 

    I am gonna get my sexy back, I know to many I look ok but I want to feel good. But I want look good and mentally feel good and this year I am not going to stop me and sure as fuck wont let anyone else prevent me from being the best me. I am gonna do me and if anyone wants to come along for the ride you better bring some healthy snacks and good tunes to share!