One of the hardest questions I get asked almost daily is "How are you today". It really shouldn't be but right now it is. Some days I am ok, as ok as I can be anyways. Some days there is just a ball of emotions in me and not all of them are good. Other days i'm level I am ok with the moment I am in.
One of the hardest things to let go is the idea of coming home to a wife and my child everyday. I am accepting that this divorce is the right choice for me even though it is hard. I never expected it to be easy. Trying to decide what I want for my future is a challenge. I am at a day by day point in my planning abilities on most things.
I for a while was on some dating sites, but they mostly seemed to end up being hookup sites or people who were sadly looking for any attention they could get. Never tried tinder, never wanted to. I didn't feel like in the end they really helped me but instead were a distraction I did not need.
At this point in life all I seek is friends. I joined an awesome singles group here in Utah and have met some amazing people in it. But all I currently use it for is to make new friends. It is all I can really be with people right now. I don't know if I will truly want another relationship. I know for sure I don't have the ability to have one right now.
I have a great adventure ahead of me figuring myself out. I have had a lot of hopes and dreams in my life so far. Now I just need to figure out what ones are worth chasing. What will make me happy in the long run even if happy is hard for me to come by right now. Step by step my life is changing.
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